In an era that honors the decisions of “consenting adults” sexual healing life coaching is becoming a much needed resource that may be enjoyed perhaps for the first time in history.
Human sexuality is a high feelings based aspect of our lives. Being a right brain experience for males and females it is sometimes wise to approach it as a study to find the intellectual balance in the analytical part of the brain, or the left side. Limited to the right brain experience the feelings which are associated with sexuality are often affected by so many varied circumstances in a person’s life that there is often a need for healing and transformation.
Of all the areas of relationship coaching perhaps the most rewarding is in sexual healing. A good coach can facilitate a healing by helping a person understand through exercises and training that a person’s sexuality is clean, godly and worthy of respect rather than dirty, sinful and shameful. This new reality must first be experienced on a core level before one can appreciate one’s gender biology sexually in a healthy and satisfying manner.
The Desire and Need for Sexual Healing
Sexual healing has become more popular in recent times because people sometimes feel inhibited from reaching their full potential through life enhancing relaxation, sexual pleasure and fulfillment. People are often for sexual enjoyment. Physical, emotional, religious, moral and social reasons affect our thinking and feelings about sex. These conditions rarely change without seeking greater knowledge and understanding about one self.
Beside moral and cultural issues, many females find it hard to open up and give themselves to another sexually because they feel overpowered, rushed, coerced, bullied, threatened, inhibited or uncomfortable. Sexual healing through life coaching can help a person achieve a much greater ability to overcome these difficulties to experience good sex.
The Benefits of Sexual Healing Life Coaching
Sexual enjoyment and happiness is often inhibited by shame, fear of what others may think, timidity, lack of trust and doubt that often leads to despondency and despair. There are a number of ways that a person may be able to get some help overcoming these difficulties. Seeking sexual therapy from licensed professionals with clinical education and state approved standardized methodologies is often expensive. These practitioners must be somewhat removed emotionally from their patients. Handling such needs on a clinical level is often not the best way for certain people. Some wish for more personal attention and time for their deep specific needs. Certainly there are professionals who take time and offer heartfelt devotion to their patients and are high sought after. But, this is generally not the case and finding the right professional is often a costly matter of trial and error.
Life coaching for sexual healing offers opportunities to those who wish to have a less formal and more personal sharing experience with a coach without incurring monetary expense. There are many benefits to in using a volunteer life coach for sexual healing. The relationship has more the feel of friendship than clinician, or doctor. Self discovery and personal growth are among the many rewards gained by coach and student working together without time and money restraints. Personal power, satisfying relationships, self confidence, better health and greater strength of character are increased becoming foundational for greater success in life in general. And, it all stems from feeling good in oneself and establishing peace and comfort in one’s body, core instincts, values and unique personality.
Finding the Right Older Life Coach
Although the idea of sexual coaching through life coaching sounds promising finding someone who may serve as a suitable coach in this area requires a little thought and patience. Many coaches who assist others with sexual needs tend to live in cosmopolitan areas and have full time jobs. They are often quite spiritually minded, showing high achievement in certain fields and disciplines. They are often regarded in their communities as moral upstanding citizens often with successful businesses, property and a certain degree of social influence and respect.
Sometimes a good life coach is a higher bred bachelor of noble character guided by principles of noblesse oblige. These knights often coach quite naturally helping their loves to grow and prosper. I have known a few of these men. Others are married and although their marriages would not be considered “open” they are clear with their partners about their sexual healing life coaching with their students,and their work and success becomes a form of enrichment for all concerned.
The mature seasoned life coach will engage a number of females for the sole purpose of facilitating personal growth in sexual sharing. Years later the females will continue to praise the relationship, albeit brief, as a landmark experience in their lives which helped them grow.
Among the mature, intelligent and noble for centuries it has long been acknowledged and accepted that older gentleman coach the younger female being more apt to give her greater feelings of safety and security which are highly supportive of a female’s needs if she is to feel relaxed and open. Older gentleman have traditionally been preferred by younger women for their patience, kindness and the respect they often show to others. They often find it easier to build trust with older gentlemen who are more experienced than younger ones and who exhibit a certain degree of wealth and emotional stability. The female is able to enjoy the training with the older gentleman without the fear of having to engage in a sometimes dramatic romantic relationship, or long term commitment. She is free to come and go as she pleases for her training sessions practicing exercises that will benefit her life.
The females who choose sex work as a profession who are well educated are apt to become personal escorts to gentlemen who treat them with a good deal of care and refinement. These are similar in character to the Japanese Geisha who were trained to interact pleasantly with higher bred male benefactors. These may be considered to some extent as the female counterparts to the older male coaches since they are generally quite liberated and in touch with their deeper core feelings and are able to access them through eroticism and satisfying physical encounter with others.
Whether younger or older the underlying reason why a young woman may choose to find a talented life coach is to learn how to open. The skillful coach has the ability to bring his student to a state of relaxation, openness, trust and enjoyment. The overall goal will be to help his student achieve her goals in overcoming whatever inhibits her ability to enjoy her life, and her sexual sharing with her partner, or even with herself.
With an older coach she also learns that it is unnecessary to be in love with a person in order to feel good sexually. She learns how to independently cultivate her own sexuality without necessarily having a deep committed relationship with her coach, her partner or any other person knowing that her sexuality is in no way dependent upon whether she has such deep feelings of affection for another, but rather has learned how to be in touch with her own innate, natural and instinctive feelings and allow herself to expand her own unique and pleasurable erotic feelings without shame or guilt. Once she has achieved this level of inner peace and security with herself she is better able to share them with others.
The Value of Working with a Sexual Healing Life Coach
A large age difference between the coach and the student makes it possible for the student to be in a current relationship she wishes to enhance. The coaching may incorporate the partner either privately or as a couple. Since the female has become accustomed to the coach on a physical level should some jealousy and emotional issues with the male partner arise from unresolved feelings these may be addressed without the coach or the partner feeling threatened. Different than having multiple sexual partners the value of working with a sexual healing life coach also improves the student’s ability to maintain a positive and more enjoyable relationship with her partner. The coaching provides measurable results that she witnesses with her partner without her feeling that she is in any way betraying the relationship.
Dealt with early on in couple coaching these kinds of issues may be resolved constructively and with positive long term effects in the relationship. Unresolved these underlying issues in the relationship are apt to cause break downs along the partnership journey. Because the coach is confident and talented as a facilitator the younger couple begins to experience greater happiness at home they begin to work out issues from a more positive stand point. With continued guidance they learn to seek solutions rather than repeating patterns of criticism, drama and emotional upheaval. The older coach may also represent a good example of better ways of handling life’s changes drawing from his own while offering good advise and encouragement.
By mutual agreement the sexual healing life coaching is for the specific purpose of enhancing her life and addressing issues that may arise in her relationships. So long as the agreement between coach and student is clearly defined and observed the student/coach relationship although endearing and to some degree bonding will also be understood from the place of friendship rather than romance. Needless to say, this kind of coaching is better suited for those who have a deep desire for sexual development and maturity and may be explained as a necessary and beneficial aspect of a person’s education and training. Under these conditions we may better understand and grasp this type of service and volunteer work as a respectable, useful and a redeeming aspect of society.
So often a female will make her sexual feelings dependent on another, and when those feelings wane so does her libido and her sexual feelings. The work of the sexual healing life coach is to provide a safe environment for a person to experience a heterosexual encounter without the emotional stress of having to perform to please the other in any way. The coaching exercises and experiences are mainly for her education and personal growth.
The coach/student relationship is about self discovery and exploring and developing innate feelings that may be either shared, or enjoyed in self pleasuring. As the student becomes more aware of her personal power erotically she may come to esteem her coach highly and regard him with respect and affection but she also recognizes that her feelings are in no way dependent upon him or their continued association. Sexual independence is a mutually agreed on goal in the coaching with the hope that greater freedom through self awareness and skill will provide a wonderful foundation for greater sexual power.
Sex in Partnership vs. Coaching Experience
It is easy to understand why females are apt to make sexual fulfillment with a partner quite partner dependent. Most often their first sexual relationship was reinforced with deep feelings of infatuation, excitement, novelty, sometimes anxiety. There was most likely a deep willingness to open to a lover during the younger years when hormones and fantasies were raging. Soon into a relationship as differences begin to emerge followed by argument and negative feelings the initial stimuli associated with her sexuality and erotic sense began to wane and became only a memory.
The reality that things have changed also changes her sexual experience with her partner and eventually those changes may lead to much less favorable and less pleasurable feelings. Sometimes there is such hopelessness that a relationship will break up in the hope of finding a more suitable partner with whom to relive the once experienced feelings of attraction and bliss. But, this too is only temporary and the same pattern will soon follow. It is for this reason that the life coach who is well grounded in human nature can assist in changing this paradigm to one which allows a person to experience and own her own unique sexuality. She is now better apt to grow and develop either with or without a partner. Our sexuality, therefore, may be best experienced when it becomes something we may do for ourselves as well as with a partner, rather than something we experience only with a partner.
One of the best benefits of working with a coach are the exercises. With a sexual life coach one can undertake practice sessions that might otherwise be difficult with a partner. The mutual agreement between coach and student to remaining positive, respectful and tranquil is quite easy to maintain since the two have no other life experience to share except sexually based. Where ordinary life experiences may well up in normal relationships to such a degree that emotional disconnects often happens in relationships, the coach/ student relationship is something eagerly anticipated and experienced for the sake of education and learning supported by experiences that help to develop greater sensitivity, awareness and skill.
The whole nature of the coaching experience centers on new discoveries in erotic sharing without interference by any other demands or distractions. All ideas, feelings and behaviors may be shared without having the inhibiting factors, and resistance usually associated with a partner. With the coach there may be much less shame and uncertainty associated with one’s own sexuality. Being guided to take a more proactive approach to discovering her own erotic nature and unique ways of expressing herself she becomes liberated in her explorations without inhibition, or the need to qualify her sexuality though emotional involvement of an romantic nature. She becomes more closely aligned with core instincts and nature based feelings.
Examples of her new found freedom may be to explore how she feels wearing different items; her sense of presentation of her body; her interest in talking sexy or receiving sexy talk during sex, and confronting what she may is inhibiting about experiencing her own sense of sexuality with another independently.
Exploring one’s own sexuality with another one may come to better distinguish between feelings which are satisfying and healthy and those which are unsatisfying and unhealthy. Feeling erotic stimulation during yoni massage, for instance, may be quite satisfying, whereas feeling guilt and shame during the initial presentation phase of the yoni exercise may feel unsatisfying. Ingrained social and traditional mores forbid such pleasures or interests in the common teachings that they are wrong and immoral. By addressing and resolving these issues within oneself one will insure greater self confidence, emotional independence and relaxation. Simply following traditions without knowing why or questioning one’s own basic instincts to know where they come from and how they should be resolved is to live in patterns and paradigms designed by others to control our thinking and behavior.
At a time where many males are being influenced by the performance orientation of most sexually graphic videos there is a need to understand gender differences and how to obtain mutually satisfying emotional fulfillment in our sexual lives. The male’s interest in porn is quite instinctively based but the outcome is often in ideas the male has and wishes to experience with his female partner. Lack of sensitivity and experience in emotionally charged areas such as sex may sometimes communicate poorly and lead to discouragement and discontentment. Sexual healing life coaching examines these problems and finds solutions that will transform one’s belief system and how we think about sex for both male and female. It gives the female better tools to understand and correct deficits and problems in her relationships, as well as the tools to better understand males and communicate more effectively.
These tools are difficult to obtain simply by reading books, watching videos and going it alone. With a life coach one can experience learning through a curriculum of study that is cumulative and immediately applicable in a persons private life and relationships. As always it takes practice to work the tools and the coach/ student relationship is a testing ground for practice and refinement.
For the student there is a hope for a brighter love life, and for the coach the satisfaction of knowing that he has shared his talents and knowledge in spirit of giving without seeking his own self interest sexually but the interest of his student. Sexual sharing thus becomes a higher spiritual value for him acting as a masterful servant rather than as a bound up master. And although no money has been paid, and no remuneration is expected, the reward he receives by knowing he has done right by another in a way that will continue to bear fruit is all the payment he needs to feel fulfilled and satisfied in this special calling and work. Without question any healing that may come to his student he also will receive.
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