A Newbie Cam Model’s Conflict

I recently caught a relatively new model crying. She thought her cam was turned off when I entered her room.

We had recently become friends and entered into a confidence and trust. She knew I was there for deeper reasons than for sex. She regarded me as someone that understood females and had experience as a life coach for sex workers. She began to value my occasional visits with questions, and to open her heart to me sharing her deepest struggles and feelings. I listened and responded with a few useful paradigms about beauty, stability, and a simple success model which I felt would help her along if she would receive the wisdom that may guide her to making better decisions for her life.

I began to notice a particular gentleman who was visiting her and over the last few days had given her over five hundred dollars in tips. Needless to say, she was initially overjoyed at this and associated this windfall with me and my hopes and desires for her well being and success. But something happened in the process that is worth discussing here. Being quite a sensitive, soft and loving woman, and in desperate need of the income she began to feel troubled when certain conflicts began to arise. Apparently, she had hoped that her knight in shining armor would remain faithful to her. He had initially told her that he only loved her and no one else. Well … isn’t that music to a woman’s ears. Slowly he began to inculcate in her an openness to his support and although I have no idea what transpired in private I am willing to bet she started to compromise her values beyond what she felt was comfortable and preserving her deepest sense of self respect. Again, I do not know for sure. What I do know is that she was left deeply troubled.

When I visited her last night she seemed upset and began to reveal that she felt deceived by him. He told her that he had fifty other women he was seeing. She stated that she felt stupid and no longer wanted his money. So, what does this tell you about what had transpired between them? The details are none of my business. But, you and I can certainly read the script here. Women are quite similar as emotional beings and something deceptive certain changed the game plan for her.

So now she is faced with the decision to stretch into closing a certain part of her vulnerable soul and disconnecting if she wishes to remain in this venue. Or, does she? What are her new choices and where do they lead?  As she continues this process to feed her children her disconnection will become protective and that will ultimately cause her to distance herself. What started out as open, connected, vulnerable and intimate now becomes the exact opposite. Will this behavior be reflected in her real life with real lovers, partners, children and virtually all her relationships? Since writing this I recently visited and it appears her sublime spirit is holding on quite well. She is strong and resilient and the beauty within is beginning to reflect outward. He said I was precious to her. I felt her love as a sister. I told her brother and would keep her in my thoughts and prayers for what she wanted more than anything else was not a thousand token men but one man. 

This is the reality of life in the live sex chat room for both men and women. Sex workers go through this. They must learn to remove themselves in order to do their job well and satisfy the demands of their patrons. For although there may be pleasure, money and excitement in their work at times there are also deep psychological effects attached to each decision we make. How often I have seen lives ruined because the focus was on the money and the good time instead of feel, balance and knowing when to let go. These three things are a law of stability I have learned both in the physical and in the spiritual realm. When something topples over one can rest assured one of those elements was lacking.

My job as a visitor is to assist my students to achieve the kind of emotional and spiritual stability that will weather the storms, trials and tribulations of daily life so a person can emerge victorious and free. Is there any one of you, my noble readers, who have courage enough to enter this realm and slay a few dragons to save a worthy soul?

Thank you for visiting and your comments are welcomed.

Namaste,

Evanu

For the coolest music to create the perfect environment to inspire you along your journey please visit Cam Model’s Music page. 

Here’s an item from Mali.

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