A male has the natural and innate potential to bring the female to an extremely high degree of self value, self esteem and self actualization.
The reason for this first and foremost is the natural and biological fact that the male is her counterpart as progenitor of the human race. This core realization on the part of both male and female is innate. It is where our deepest feelings arise from the amygdala through the unconscious to the conscious. The male’s deep intimate involvement with the female is essential for both his and her sense of well being. So, health, well being and sustenance are an integral part of human sexuality. This is nothing to be ashamed of. And this is nothing to be moralized out of existence.
Those who promote shame and inhibition regarding human sexual experience are guilty of perverting others from fully understanding and appreciating their core human nature, biology, instincts, and feelings in the positive. They often dominate and control the behavior of others by instilling negative feelings in this area. This is primarily why I am devoted to coaching others concerning core sexual issues through self discovery, and on many levels.
It is though self discovery that a person begins the journey toward personal freedom, liberation and empowerment. No one else can do this work for us … we must all do it for ourselves though our own intelligence and will. This is different than the idea of spiritual life and salvation. For me, that is something I take up daily with my Deity who I believe is the source of my life, inspiration and wisdom.
Why Negative Feelings?
Many institutions ranging from ancient religions to contemporary governments often promote teachings which support negative feelings toward oneself sexually. The reasons why they do is quite understandable given the unhealthy and sometimes harmful consequences that sexual activities between humans may cause. But, to live in the mentality that sexual behavior and practice is wrong, dirty, evil or unhealthy is incorrect, and those who believe these things live fruitless, inhibited and unhappy lives. This may sound like a generality but I can say with certainty that I have never met or heard of any person who is hung up in terms of their biologically based sexual core values as either a man or a woman who lived fruitful, free and happy lives.
Sexual enjoyment, however, has a few provisos. First and most importantly is to understand one’s own gender and biology. Then it is necessary to honor and values oneself as a female or a male fully. It is also necessary to understand the opposite gender. One must have the intellectual and moral capacity to separate between teachings, traditions, and behaviors that originate out of dead legalism generating feelings of fear, inhibition, guilt and shame. We must be able to embrace and reinforce positive feelings which accompany behavior grounded in natural biological phenomena. When two people love each other this is generally a wise thing to do. Nothing could be freer and more satisfying than intimate sexual union. But when there is no love between two people the reasons why moral traditions exist becomes quite clear disconnect and separating ourselves from our highly supportive natural emotions.
When two people love their traditions, inhibitions and shame more than each other they will be unable to experience intimacy in a healthy way because the negatives associated with their gender, and their sexual involvement with the opposite sex will be a source of tension, fear, and many other negative emotions.
When two people love each other enough to transcend the external influences and encounter each other in a natural and healthy way they enter a place of growth and nourishment because their human biology supports this encounter with pleasure and other health generating hormones such as dopamine, oxytocin, estrogen and testosterone. These things have always been known and understood empirically. Science today has served to ratify ancient truths providing valuable research that supports human behavior, it’s origin, evolution and characteristic nature.
A male who is sexually inactive and, or lacks virility will be unable to lead a female into a healthy sexual experience. Males who lack this ability tend to blame the female for what he feels she lacks in the relationship when he himself most likely is the one who most often lacks as the leader in the natural process of arousing, influencing and engaging his female counterpart. Under these circumstances alternative sexual practices exist for sexual intimacy and pleasure, albeit, deviant from natural biologically defined behavior. These secondary areas have much to do with the existence of moral taboos which often fall well beyond the limits of human decency. When something is unnatural and leading to discomfort and disease, behaviors associated with these things are considered perverse to rational human beings. One may justify it simply on the grounds they are free to do it and that like doing it. But, embracing pain and ill health in sexual practice is depraved. Before heterosexuals begin pointing a finger at homosexuals we must first clean up the depravity in our own orientation. The male, therefore, must be willing to lead the female naturally as in a dance because she depends upon him for his leadership as a sexually active and virile person.
What Opens the Female?
It is believed that when a female encounters a male who knows what he wants sexually, is unashamed to request it and stands in his integrity which is not pressured and demanding in any way, that she instinctively feels it in her vagina and she naturally feels that she wants to open for him and engage. In other words, the male must send a clear signal to the female to copulate. This message is supported by his confident physical presence, and communicated in a relaxed and direct manner. When he owns his balls, as it were, his message is empowering to her in many ways. She begins to revel in her own sense of desirability, her need to engage in the natural procreative act, the desire to feel pleasure, and perhaps the most important being her need to feel safe and secure while in a state of physical and emotional release. If her vagina agrees that he is a suitable male they will have sex and she will feel empowered, valued, more self confident, and sometimes wonderfully creative.
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