Having engaged in coaching for many years and for some period those incarcerated at times for sexually generated offenses may I suggest the following question:
“Is there something right about watching other people making love, having sex and being erotic, or is it simply, in the view of many, something very wrong?”
Something Right ?
Many people agree with the general idea that there are socially redeeming effects and benefits for many who enjoy watching people engage in sexual activity, and that this is something that should not be prohibited in society among adults.
Porn may play an important role as a catalyst for personal development and change. Human sexual behavior is extremely diverse offering a highly variable range of material to study and consider. Understanding more about human sexuality is more than a curiosity for many it is entertaining, liberating, quite fascinating, and sometimes even a little humbling.
In the same sense that human sexuality is regarded, esteemed and honored as a private natural right between two or more people, the viewing of sexually explicit material allows people to enlarge their understanding of the human soul on many levels. No one can say for another what is right or wrong, for conscience, discretion and discernment abides in each of us and the wiser we become the more liberal our ideas tend to grow through multi cultural diversity, self awareness, religious tolerance, greater gender equality and appreciation for practices that before today may have only be shared or viewed on a strictly private level.
I suppose the question today is “what do we make it mean?” the word “porn” meas dirty. But is it? If it is “dirty” how so? And if it is “clean” in the sense of socially uplifting, educational and something which may clearly be considered “beautiful” and inspiring how may we approach such a touchy subject in a manner which is uplifting and supportive to the human quest for rationality, elevation, love, art, training and encouragement. How do we relate to this video genre?
Something Wrong ?
Generalizing that porn is something dirty and depraved is often the result of a closed, bigoted and myopic view of human relationship and interaction. Such a view fails to regard another person’s freedom to choose and to explore the uniqueness of others in terms of their human sexuality and lovemaking, one of the most essential of all natural behaviors. It fails to honor and respect the dignity of adult maturity by associating corruption, addiction and low moral standards to those who produce and promote it as well as those who view it.
Harsh criticisms of human sexuality abound in religions that for many generations constituted the governments of most nations. Religions formed ceremonial and legal structures over people’s lives. Similarly it frowned upon niew ideas, and expelled and marginalized outsiders and ideas that were different than that of the ruling class, culture and orthodox religious doctrines. These rigid beliefs and practices were passed on through many generations.
Without question both higher and lower standards exist in the realm of graphic sexual material just as they are in movies in general and in all disciplines, for that matter. Violent abusive behavior which removes human dignity resulting in trauma, sickness, disease and death is often displayed in mainstream media with the notion that the people have a right to know. The same exists in both child and adult oriented video games. No one disputes our right to know and engage, although it is often lamented, that there is so much of these things in the news that people often state that it depresses them and that they often feel demoralized by it. **
Those who exploit this right to view sexually explicit material for the sole purpose of pandering to dark passions and urges for morally depraved behaviors. When such knowledge of certain practices take hold of a person’s spirit there is no question in my mind that one can lose one’s identity and entire soul in the world of images alone. Practicing these things is often a foray into an abyss of physical, mental and emotional torment. The ancient practice of image oriented idolatry, perverse and often unnatural rituals and rites is classic depravity culminating in human torture and sacrifice. Mankind does not want to got there any more we are higher than that now.
These things are rightly judged in all cultures and should be brought to order through sound and prudent management and government whenever and wherever criminal activity may present itself. When the lines between the self motivated and corrupt practices exhibiting a narcissistic criminal mentality become blurred with respect for the person and human dignity and the liberty of others it is necessary for certain lines of morality to be strictly reestablished and enforced if the citizenry of any nation is to remain free.
History makes clear that where these lines no longer exist neither does freedom, for tight knit groups of corrupt businessmen and politicians easily take control to the utter demise of entire populations and nations. Such was the case in Nazi Germany and Stalin’s Russia and it was the righteous and prevailing freedom and strength, then and now, in the United States and Europe that brought a greater sense of light and liberty to those dark and violent ideologies. Many feel that these virtues should be upheld and fortified if we are to maintain high standards of human dignity as a nation and as a light for freedom in the world.
Clean and Dirty ?
The idea that sex is dirty is founded on a long history of sexual exploitation, abuse, disease and death. Sex is like water. One must be careful before putting it into the body. When we are thirsty we tend to be less discriminating and sometimes in haste we can get sick by what we drink. We must drink water to survive and have learned to be wise in what we consider safe to ingest. It is the same with sex.
When sex is dirty it makes us sick. This form of sickness may be mental and emotional as well as physical. When it represents the elements mention above and panders to perverse instincts increasing the need for deeper and darker levels of perversion and depravity sex is indeed defiling and dirty. To say that “sex” is dirty and defiling without understanding how sex is also “clean” and refreshing is ignorant. Why let ignorance rule our lives. We must learn to speak our truth and demand that others respect our right to speak plainly.
I believe viewing porn has helped me to understand this distinction more clearly and I have learned something of the beauty that people in general manifest in the tenderness, kindness, and sensitivity that they show to one another during the most intimate moments of human encounters.
At times I have felt humbled by the generosity of those willing to share their most intimate and private moments with others and found that such a natural curiosity has led me to much greater and even higher understanding of awareness, sensitivity the humanity of others. At the same time viewing porn has allowed me to identify things about my own nature that appear to predominate. As these choices and feelings arise I must ask myself the simple questions “why ?” “What leads me in a specific direction.” “Why do I gravitate to this kind of visual experience?” “What does it symbolize? … What is the metaphor?”
Through porn I have come to a much clearer understanding of myself, my likes dislikes, what I accept and esteem, what I reject and disavow, and perhaps on a spiritual level, what I might aspire to.
I am grateful for the privilege of viewing others engaging sexually and in contrast to what some may feel inhibits intimacy with one’s partner I believe it has caused me to question my own deepest motives for engaging sexually with my partner with the effect of seeking higher levels of intimacy through better understanding of the female psyche, behavior, habits and needs.
Thank you for visiting and please leave your wise thoughts and ideas. I always benefit from reading them.