Sex Cam and Partner Issues

Prison inmates have a saying, “If you are willing to commit the crime you must be willing to do the time.”

But real men who consider themselves higher order alphas are committing no crime when they visit beautiful cam models. This behavior is well documented as a natural and normal part of our human biology and instincts regardless of what society, religion and culture has to say. I think we all need to be there for a season. It’s like a massive dose of female training. We get to test out who we really are and we get to explore our own self worth. Certainly they know what to show … but in response as we drop our tokens in the slot while gawking in our sultry little private booth, cock in hand,  can we touch, move and inspire them to even notice us for something more than that? Good exercise. Give it try. Good place to begin breaking a few rules, and maybe having the gumption to begin writing a few of our own. Certainly the bondage of being hung up in what anybody else considers proper does none of that … hardens the neck in most cases.

How all the ambient mores affect our thinking varies, just as what we have agreed to commit to in our partnership varies. Whatever the unique circumstances of our lives may be, the old adage, “Honesty is the best policy” is true for many reasons. Commit first to the truth and everything else will fall into place, instead of us falling out of place. When I did once I ended up in a boat for seven years, one step up from homelessness. Why, because my lack of honesty seriously mitigated my personal integrity. Good thing I had a little strength of character left, and the will to succeed without which all would have been lost. I learned some valuable lessens in that little vessel … I learned how to be alone and that for me how to be “with the other” was destined to be the better space in which to abide.

So, here is my philosophy and how I approach touchy and sometimes strained situations such a partner’s reactions to my life and behaviors. If I use the term “you” at times take no offense, or you “personally”, simply think “you the public”.

I promote a concept which I call, “The Beautiful People Project” because being a beautiful person is something I aspire to.  And, I so enjoy being with other beautiful people. Don’t you? Some years ago I managed to define it while living in San Francisco. What to hear it? Goes like this … my definition for beauty is based in stature, grace and elegance. I look at a lot of things today to see if they are truly beautiful. Even the news has its beautiful moments. My relationship with my partner under difficult and strained circumstances could have a beautiful and touching moment but it is going to take a little thought and consideration first. Discretion requires we hold back information from them until we feel ready to discuss it. Did I say “hide”? I said … “Hold back”. Big difference and they get it, they feel everything about us because women are special that way. They are feelers. We must learn to love them for it.

Should your partner feel that adultery and unfaithfulness to the contract exists, even the potential,  then the issue is bound to be more intense once discovered. But, if using the social media to meet lovely ladies willing to take their clothing off for you is something you have been enjoying in a positive and satisfying manner (and it’s nobody’s business exactly what goes on in that chat room when partner begins to question you. It is private for a reason). Look at it this way: how you get your training is your business.  So own it, rather than feel squeemish about it and attempt to hide it. That’s what I do and it works. I get to stand like a biped ought rather than hover over one’s journey like a primate with its knuckles dragging on the ground. Some people have to own hotels all over the world. For those people who own themselves, their riches are far greater. At this point in time, unless she reads this, my partner has no knowledge of the time or money I have spent with live sex cam models. I have an idea, however, how I will handle the topic once I choose to reveal it or, and I hate to put it this way, get busted. But, I am preparing myself. Trust me.

The famous violin teacher from Juliard, Galamian, once said to a twelve year old Joshua Bell, child virtuoso, “Make it beautiful.” That is what we are going to look at here. In order to make relationships beautiful I translate stature, grace and elegance in terms which I choose to apply to my life. For stature I play my “part”. Positive attitude, respect and tranquility. Believe me, this is an uphill climb I struggle with. On that foundation I am able to expand grace by taking my first “step”. Support, tolerance, empathy and patience. This is what I offer my family and friends. And then comes the elegance which results in our ability to “relate”. Rational, elevated, loving, artistic, technique, and encouragement. These are born out of the confluency of stature and grace.

Now, there will be partners who simply have no desire to hear about it , to those who are curious and think it’s wonderful. No matter how bad it gets when the truth is finally revealed never return reaction with reaction, but say, “I choose to have a positive attitude, respect and tranquility between us and I support you and your feelings and wish to discuss this with you if you are willing.” This is doing your part. Next, be supportive and tolerant of her feelings and ideas as charged as they may be. Show empathy rather than excuses, feeling threatened or victimized, etc. but remove the emphasis from yourself and place it completely on your partner and finally be patient. Going to this place I speak of is in itself a much greater reward of satisfaction than anything we will ever encounter in a chat room since what we experience face to face with our partner is real, and what we do in the chat room is virtual. The greater value is being with the other in body and soul.

Injecting hyperbole and creative humor also appears strong in the eyes of the female and gets them thinking. “The goodly Prince is building his harem of wives and concubines.” I might say, “I need more wisdom and must practice understanding by being with more females … many more females through this medium.” Be prepared, she could go ballistic or be some what amused and come back to you, hands on hips, big frown on face asking, “So what has prince charming learned around all those other bitches!?” Makes no difference how she responds, so long as no guns or knives come out, simply stand in your own reality calmly never showing fear, intimidation, or taking insult, simply return with “I love you more because of it … I understand now what an honor and privilege it is to be with you, and how precious you are to me. This is what my little exercise has taught me. I am sorry if this little study of mine has shock or disturbed you. I’m thankful because that shows me how much you love me.” Spare her all the gory details especially if she comes on with strong hostility.

Never use you hard earned experiences with the other ladies as a weapon to further hurt her feelings but convince her how it has made you a better man and better capable of understanding and loving her. Oh, one other thing, make sure you are close to a phone so you can dial 911 if necessary. Everything I just said could backfire. There are no guarantees when it comes to women. They’re brains are wired that differently than ours. For, the more we try to explain notice the deeper in the mud we tend to sink. For the best result with them I try try to communicate that I am a feeling human being and how my feelings are shaping my life and how much I need and love her to help me through this. 

Believe me brothers … I know, I know … this is all bullshit … but it often works like a charm. Did I say that, Prince Charming?  What I have shared is no long shot. The upshot is we need to learn how to argue with awareness and honor for her emotions rather than downplay them, trying to quell them or especially negating them. This is classic jerk male that makes them feel wrong being who they were created to be. The more we understand and value the feelings of our ladies without feeling threatened the easier it gets along the way to interface.

The main thing is that we must learn to stand our ground, and claim our space as strong, virile males. She will respect that. In fact she longs for that. But we must be in our integrity whenever we do. No anger or hostility. If we go there she feels threatened and that works against us because females have a deep need to feel safe and secure. That is key to many things about them. I have to confess I have been out of integrity with my partner more than I’d like to admit. But, the moment we decide to stop arguing and relax while owning our own stuff, the quicker they begin to respect us. I have tried demanding respect in the past. Never works. I have found that the best way to get respect is to show it.

Think on this and consider it’s value to you as a strong, friendly and elegant virile male. May you be elevated in your longing for your truth and may it find the venue that pleases you most through which to express yourself whether in the real or virtual realm. I cannot say what is right or wrong for my partner or you, but I must be able to say what is for me in an honest and open manner. If we can do this, even if everything is lost, we have never lost our self respect or capitulated in such a manner as to give it away. With nothing but that certain individuals throughout history have built empires.

I must say I was tempted to spiral in this post into what I think females are all about, but I realize I am just learning the a,b,c’s of how wonderfully made they are and how ignorant I can be at times. Perhaps, this is the deepest reason I have sought to enlarge my experience by visiting them through this fascinating cam venue. No regrets here.

In the final analysis of sharing this information with my partner I intend to handle it with the truth. “Honey, you know I am a gentleman, and I enjoy a little adult entertainment now and then. You watch live performances and even meet the models. Kind of like a dream come true. I am learning to appreciate females as never before. In many ways I feel I have grown since I’ve been there learning more about females, and how they interact with people in a relaxed manner from the privacy of their own homes.” 

For those who wish to undertake deeper relationship work may I suggest visiting Mike Lousada, and Louise Manzanti on Youtube who are sex therapists in London. I have parroted some of their ideas here. Their videos are heartwarming and their perspective is quite core based and supportive of what I feel truly works in building a strong communication with ones partner. But first, it is important to get oneself straight. After the the stretch that radical feminism had on us from the sixties on … I think we need to reestablish the balance. They were right. And, it was shock. But, I believe we are the better for it, stronger and all the wiser. What do you think?

Thank you for visiting my blog today. And please leave me some word you were here. I would love to hear your thoughts.

Namaste,

Evanu

Now it’s time for some cool music.

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