Cam Sex and Personal Integrity

“What we think, feel and say in the sex cam model’s chat room represents who we are.”

Self discovery is a wonderful thing according to the Ancient Greek saying from Delphi. To “know yourself” leads to the highest wisdom, riches and fame. Those who have no idea who they are, like animals, are often led to the slaughter. Read Tolstoy’s “War and Peace” for more information on this.

Whenever I am in a chat mode whether Facebook or a live sex cam I maintain the highest level of self respect as I am able. The temptation to lose it is often great. I struggle with this the same as everyone else including the models.

The day I learned to respect myself in a manner higher than anything previous I began to attract new resources into my life and within a short period of time I became financially independent. Survival issues now settled I was able to move higher, in Mazlow’s hierarchy of needs, to “self actualization”. In this, the highest area of self discovery, I sometimes wonder if I were not better off simply struggling for my survival. Self actualizations is all about self discovery, losing one’s inhibition and liberating from bondage of all kinds. But, in order to achieve this one must become open, connected, vulnerable and intimate. Survival, and other aspects lower in the hierarchy taught me how to be closed, disconnected, protective and distant. So you see, gaining the knowledge and wisdom necessary can be a daunting task. Self respect is the road to self discovery. The destination for me is to live eternally with my Deity in love, life and truth, and in oneness with all those who exist in that realm.

Why do I visit females in semi private sex cam chat rooms? You will find articles on this in the blog if you are interested. But to sum up my inner most interest I think for me it is to locate, appreciate and nurture from some association with beauty on some level. This is very much a subconscious thing that tends to pull or lure me. Is it to “get sex”? Is it to control somebody, or some thing? Is it to fulfill a deep craving, or hole in the identity; to see naked females, and sometimes playing with themselves while being stimulated by toys they wear in their vaginas and anuses which the viewer gets to control? We both may do this privately to the limits of our own satisfaction and theirs. 

But, in this “aloneness”, forget about ever meeting them in person. So alone is a big revealer of our deepest character. How much are we apt to compromise our integrity as we interact with the models in the private chat room? I believe what we think, feel and say in the sex cam model’s room represents who we are. … Our expression Is who we are.

I remember some years ago visiting the “Adam & Eve” club on Broadway in San Francisco. You went into an area where there was a small circular stage surrounded by a few private boots large enough for one or two persons. These booths were on one sector of the curve and if you looked to the right or left you could see through the glass windows of each the faces of men. I remember seeing on the faces of a few men who appeared to be in a melted, goofy and completely enraptured state. Of course, you should have seen the models they picked … Lord, have mercy. And so long as you kept putting quarters in the box you got to stay. When you went broke you left despondently, albeit, in the after glow of what was newly imprinted eternally on the phantasm of the mind.

I laugh now at that memory. But, I must also consider who I am becoming each time I enter a chat room, what my motives are, why I am there and how does my being there result in either feeling ennobled and lifted up, or in some manner degraded and lowered down. Ultimately, these choices and decisions we make along the way result in the heaven or hell we fashion for ourselves.

I cannot say for you what you must do, for we claim the right to fashion our own journey. But, I can say what I do for myself has been resulting in my achieving my goals, and that self respect, and respect for others along the way has something to do with that.

One thing about females I know for certain is that they enjoy being respected and those who have high integrity. The quickest way to shut down a woman is to push or force her. They loathe those who do who are “out of integrity”. Aspiring to higher personal standards is apt to bring a visitor in much closer to model’s heart and soul. And, there some, rare as it may be, who have come to meet their model physically. 

Some people believe that live sex cam girls are in the business of exploiting men and often use this belief to justify unleashing abuse. If this is your belief and purpose for using the venue there are many opportunities to feed your demon. I say “demon” because that attitude is what leads souls straight to the hell of their own making. But, we do have choices and there are also many opportunities to find models who have no intention of exploiting anyone but because they want to make a little extra, they enjoy the medium and meeting people, and they want to have a good time.

So once we grapple with the real reasons we are visiting a sex oriented chat room we may be better able to understand and deal with the emotions we experience once we are there. If you happen to be angry and abusive … no reason to to condemn yourself for it. Simply realize that everyone else is inclined to condemn you at one point or another. Maybe this is a good reason to shift our thinking.

You will find that the most well respected cam models, and the wealthiest I might add, make it clear that they expect to be respected at all times. Even the manner in which a visitor expresses his or her desire, which she is willing to fulfill  …  but, she demands that these wishes be expressed without rudeness, a vulgar spirit, or demeaning negative attitude … in any way. All that represents to her and any other female, for that matter, is a selfish spirit of disregard for the feelings and integrity of another. To impose one’s will on a female through vulgar abuse will remove the female from feeling safe and secure and cause her to abandon such a person if not physically, definitely emotionally. Those females who are attracted to such low treatment and abuse ruin other people’s lives beginning with their own.

What being alone in a chat room brings out in us, I feel, is a valuable indication of where we are and where, to the discerning souls who consider themselves mature and wise … where we need to be.

I must confess that there have been times when out of selfishness I have pushed certain women thinking that they would enlarge for me … to their own discomfort. Big mistake. I regret those times and hope never to go there again.

Once we have arrived, for some, there will be complete liberation from their shame, guilt, and inhibition. For others these things will be compounded. … Something to think about. Those who follow my blog, no doubt, are among the deeper feelers and the thinkers.

Thank you for visiting. Please feel free to comment. I enjoy hearing your perspectives.

Namaste,

Evanu

Now for some cool music:

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s