Research has shown that the thinking and feelings of males is different than that of the female in some ways due to hormones present early on in fetal development.
Because of this it is well established that the way males and females think about and approach their gender and sexuality is different. Whatever those differences may be one thing they both have in common is knowing when something feels good and when something feels bad.
When healing occurs things feel good, or … better. This would seem the obvious reason why people who feel bad or ill want to heal. Pleasure is something that feels good. The better it feels the more pleasure. Feeling good and pleasure are healers. It is hard to feel pleasure when one is all tensed up and stressed. The more relaxed a person is the more a person is able to feel and understand pleasure. Gentleness promotes feelings of relaxation and pleasure. Harshness causes tension and sometimes and on certain levels be assured it causes pain.
Relaxation and pleasure is an emotional state which may vary depending upon the brain waves associated with consciousness. Deep relaxation changes brain waves from the Beta to Alpha and Theta, which is from consciousness to deeper and deeper levels of semi-consciousness until one falls asleep. Some refer to that moment in semi-consciousness just before conking out as being the “twilight”. There was a famous television program based on this theme by Rod Serling called “The Twilight Zone”. (You will find episodes on Youtube.) When relaxation and pleasure reach a certain level where the brain waves begin to change toward the Theta level, as we begin to enter semi-consciousness we become more open to suggestion … we change our state of mind. When we enter a more suggestible state there is less consciousness of right or wrong because in that state we are more conscious of our physical body and can more easily access feelings associated with it. In fact, being in this more relaxed state of semi-consciousness we may be quite aware without inhibition. It is hard to be in your body and inhibited at the same time. It is in this state that relaxation and uninhibited pleasure may greatly serve to heal negative feelings which we are so often aware of but can do so little on a conscious level to change or heal. So relaxation and pleasure, then, is a vehicle which can take a person closer to their objective of well-being and feeling good.
Having discussed how relaxation and pleasure can alter a person’s state of mind let’s talk about how sexual pleasure may be useful as a means of changing one’s behavior.
Negative emotions associated with one’s sexuality is often the reason why the coach is being sought after for assistance. It is possible to change those emotions, and believing that they may, in time, change to positive feelings is the hope that the student and the coach share. The process at each stage will incorporate relaxation and pleasure as a means of helping establish new ideas, sensations and feelings to reinforce positive pleasurable experience. In that state as greater and greater levels of connection with the unconscious mind’s memories take place we may install positive experience and new memory to surround the negative ones. This gives us more options for positive feelings now associated with a particular act or experience.
Instead of only the negative feelings emerging as a reaction to some stimulus in that area, other feelings can be newly located in the memory bank. We often try to achieve this result by consciously wishing, thinking, and talking about our problems hoping that one day they will simply go away. But they never do. It’s kind of like our computer. There is a desktop and a hard drive. The desktop is fairly variable and fluid and the hard drive is much less variable, static and permanent until we get in there with the right program and make certain changes. Once we do those changes remain.
So, we must bypass the conscious state which is our logical intelligence, or left brain, separated from the unconscious mind (more the right side of the brain) in order to enter that more or less hidden data base where our life experience and memories stored, basically in feelings and images. Some people refer to this as being in a trance state. No need to feel squeemish about this since we all enter a kind of trance state many time each day when we watch tv, drive a care, eat a great meal of naturally when making love.
Feeling a little apprehensive about doing is natural since it is the noble work of the conscious mind to protect the more vulnerable unconscious. It is believed that dreams are a way for the mind to work out certain stimuli we may have experienced during the day to more or less keep the emotional house clean. One common means of bypassing our conscious mind is through meditation, proven to be a valuable resource to assist in a person’s well being. When we learn how to access the unconscious, no matter what method we may use, if we are able to deposit good feelings and positive thoughts and ideas next to certain actions and behaviors, they will remain afresh in our subconscious memory bank.
Learning how to change our state of mind is an effective and powerful means of increasing sexual pleasure and experiencing healing in that aspect of our live
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