Although the venue is replete with underage boy scouts, it is a well established fact that there are many men visiting cam girls who are a lot older. Some have quite a bit of wisdom to offer which could virtually change a young life for ever.
I am a seasoned life coach of a number of years and I approached this venue with a certain degree of hesitation just recently. It’s been around a long time but I felt little reason to be there. But, now is the time for me. And, what I have found is that I take a mature and supportive approach in those whom I choose to get to know.
For me there is a large difference between sex and Eros. In my journey through this venue, which you can read in other posts, I now find that I am inclined to speak to the heart of these young ladies in a way that reaches beneath the exterior tenor of the medium, which is generally for fast crude sex. I enjoy that there are numerous concubines willing to offer their erotic services over the net to their patrons. But, it seems after evaluating the possibilities that I rather enjoy exchanging wisdom and ideas that may benefit both. I never had daughters and would have loved to. Something tells me I may have been better off with only my sons. But now, I have an opportunity to interact with lovely ladies with all the due respect I might have shown my own daughters.
Some might say, “If that is what you want why not go to church … why are you coming here?” My answer is I enjoy the venue and the freedom from inhibition, shame and social protocols. I like the convenience of being in a private setting and comfortable without distraction, same as it is for them. And the whole relaxed and laid back environment, I feel lends itself to thinking more clearly, and sharing more intimately than outside in real life situations. This is a relatively new medium and I reserve the right to explore it courageously and with all the heart and soul I can muster.
But, now lets come down to the rapport. If one has something to offer her as I have described how does one proceed to build the relationship?
First, I think it is important to be honest with oneself about the reason and motive for being here. If it is for sex, then let it be for sex. If it is for sharing and exchange then let that be the priority and pursue a means of accomplishing this as the end product.
Next, I find that there needs to be a period of courtship with the models. Getting to know them and helping them to get to know us is very important before any deep or personal exchange will take place. Feel the environment for a while. Learn about your new acquaintance. Enjoy every moment keeping an open mind and heart. Sometimes things are not what they appear to be both in a positive and negative sense. I have often been surprised to see something that was at first kind of sweet turn sour and vice versa. Be patient and observe and tip one token during the process so she will learn to respect you and trust your kindness and generosity even if she does nothing but respond to a question. One token is less that a dime. The old saying, “It’s the thought that counts” really seems to work here.
Once the model gets to know me and I her I am in a better position to know how to interface. It’s hard to do that at the beginning. This takes a little while. Be consistent. Return and say hello and tip them. Eventually they react to your showing up with gladness. That is a great sign. If after a number of visits there is no life force. Move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea. If she is someone you really feel you want to know. Be supportive, tolerant, empathic and patient. Eventually you will break the ice with her. This is the same with anybody virtual or real.
I cover observations I have had in other posts but for now let’s simply say that these cam girls are in business to make a living but they are still feeling human being and much more so as females. So, from the very beginning, we must approach them from an emotional standpoint if we are to communicate effectively. We must always respect them and try to understand their feelings. We can watch how they respond to other patrons and learn. There are many ways we can set ourselves apart from the hoard of horny males who want to jump right into sex talk and making demands. Even though some of the ladies are into it, they are because it tells them that money is apt to arrive steadily, but I rather do none of these things. I try to reach the heart with each word without being corny or superficial. I compliment other things beside her looks … her jewelry, a painting, the cat the bedspread … anything. If there is a distinguishing thing like a beauty mark or the color of her hair I tell her Inner and she learns to respect me. She is beautiful in that she knows what is what most men want and is willing to surrender it. There is a sweet obedient spirit I find among most cam models.
I might be good to add here that it is natural for the newer models to assume that the main reason people come to this venue is for sex. The veterans know that the reasons vary widely and are more apt to adjust their style to suit the specific needs of the visitor. I am amazed at how quickly most of these ladies catch on to what we are looking for. None the less, you find that many attempt to draw their viewer into sexual and erotic viewing. I have no problem with that and find it often exhilarating, but I try to stay focused on the reason I may be visiting a certain model, and sometimes I must flat out say, “I’m not here for sex.”
If I may offer a little advise to the visitor who is wondering about how to develop a good rapport with a cam model, I would say let her come to you. Many models show up in your message area soliciting your patronage. That is good. She made the first move. This a grooming process. Let her write you and try to entice you a little. Always write back thanking for the “honor” of her presence and tell her that you will be pleased to visit her page soon to get to know her a little better. This is a very strong way to begin. Get her coming to you right from the beginning and keep the incentive for the next move with her. If you come on too strong she will anticipate your aggression and counter it with disinterest or try to manipulate you into dropping lots of tokens in private sessions and sexual activities with her. Once you accept her request for friendship, as in the xHamster venue, you are then free to engage her on a private level whenever you want without paying for it, or having to go “gold” in order to get the privilege. But, to make this happen you must be first be formally friends. Either one of you can initiate the request for friendship. I think it is better if she does it. But the overall effect is the same once that status had been achieved.
On a potential coaching prospect plan on spending one to two dollars, with is twenty tokens. That will reinforce quite a bit along the way. Spend more time in the private areas rather than in the visual area where you can see her. Go there from time to time and say hi. She will know that you are there to see her and will like that. But, show her that you are more interested in exchanging with her verbally rather than visually at this point. It appears in the xHamster venue the private messaging can be either with or without video. This avoidance of the visuals might confuse her a little. And, that is good. You want to confuse her rather than her think she knows what you are all about. Being older you have the advantage to control, or better, to lead you young lady to a place where you have won her confidence in you. Imagine, two dollars, wonderful exchanges and ultimately a new friend, and sometimes, quite sexy at that. This is why I am here. And, it makes no difference what time of the day it is, what I look like, or what anybody else thinks. This is why I always communicate to them that I feel it is an honor and privilege to meet the. They are prepared to offer sex and erotic entertainment for relative little money. This is the first time in history such a potential has ever existed, and I in now way do I take the dynamics and potential here for granted.
Now is the time for creativity. Once a reasonably trusting rapport has taken place it is time to open the door to something a little deeper for her to explore with me. I have a number of things to talk about from music, certain life experiences, and even a little happy roleplay like “If you were in my Harem what would you rather be … my wife or my concubine?” She may be a little intrigued and even confused by this question. I tell her that a wife is someone in my harem with who I can exchange higher wisdom. A concubine is someone with whom I mainly exchange deep sensual and possible erotic feelings. Although a wife is capable of these things there is more room to focus on deeper spiritual truth and ideas. One must be careful never to overpower or burden a simpler person who feel talented in sensual to expect her to relate in the intellectual. I am guilty of doing that and I know better now to be more aware of both her and myself during the process. It does take a little though and discernment along the way. We make mistakes but being patient reaps many rewards. And, good things come to those who wait.
Now we come to the message, the philosophy, the growth and the healing. Remember dear older gents it goes both ways. What takes place now between you and your lovely young ladies is as always a private matter and now that you are in each other’s confidence may you experience all the joys of a new friendship along with the satisfaction of knowing that your wisdom may change a young life for the better as well as receiving in your noble soul the gift of honor, respect and the loveliness which they would surrender willingly to you. For, you are both worth more than mere tokens as human beings and persons capable of generating in each other happiness and great joy.
Thank you for being with me and please send me your sincere feedback.
Now for some cool music!