Nice work … no? Imagine the positive reinforcement of knowing people are sending you money every time they see you feeling good and having pleasure.
How alive that must make you feel in the privacy of our own bedroom independently using your time and all the things you choose to do. You get to play at what you truly love to do whenever you want … to be yourself in a most relaxed, private and personal way. Somehow you believe you were meant for this kind of life.
This all takes place in the most safe and secure setting in which you can interact with other people. You never have to worry about committing to anything, keeping any dates, being on time, or ever having to expose yourself to anything that makes you feel weird.
Imagine getting paid for this?
And if you felt alone and wanted a partner you could pick the perfect one and work this job together playing and feeling good and getting paid for every minute of it.
And all the while as you are having fun people are watching you and they are having fun, too. It is because of this you get paid. The more fun they have the more money they pay you. You haven’t a care in the world except to have fun and make tons of money as you blow kisses to your happy patrons. You wave affectionately making the sweetest sounds your sexy soul can muster.
You are grateful for your work knowing that you are establishing something special about yourself from a place of being real, open and agreeable since your patrons make simple requests of you for things they think you can do. When you can … you do pleasurably and honestly. When you are unable you do so … you politely refuse knowing that these requests will stretch and ultimately shape you in ways you may hesitate to entertain … at least … for the moment until you become more relaxed and self confident. You go with this further and further into the novel new and uncharted deeper seas of luxuriously appealing green waters while lying on your bed in a world filled with imagination, curiosity, tantalizing communication with patrons, and every new stimulating feeling one can imagine.
You love your work. Wouldn’t trade it for any other work or anything you might have done in the past to make a living. People see and like you. What could be better than that? Most of them are the opposite sex and are eager to meet you. Best part is it takes no acting skill, training, knowledge, apprenticeships, counsel, personal integrity, strength of character or even the will to succeed. All you need is a little motivation to carry you through and a good laptop.
Somehow this all seems too good to be true and you know and feel it down deep inside. And as always when such windfall experiences occur you wonder if something must eventually go wrong. Will something you want desperately go missing from your life? You see this newly chosen venue reinforcing certain new behaviors wondering where the one major undetected flaw may be. The one big fish that sneaks up behind and eats you whole in an instant. And then you are gone.
You begin to notice that your soul and psyche is continually connecting more and more with others in Cyberland and less and less with people in real life. You are afraid to tell people what you are doing. You begin to deceive a little wondering what the outcome may be if you were to truly open up to those in your life … those you truly admire, respect and love. Will they continue to honor you? You are beginning to weigh and compare the benefits of income and emotional excitement with something else. Quietly you continue day after day until one day you start to ask yourself
“Can something so good ever fail?” You begin to notice your identity beginning to shift. There are conflicting feelings which relate to love, life and truth and how you compromise these things in order to maintain a certain balance in this new medium. You try to convince yourself “… this is okay … this is really quite good.”
As we take a close look into the private lives of the cam girl we begin to find that although there appears on the surface to be quite an advantage to gain a decent income with all the benefits mentioned above there are certain results, albeit psychological, that one must consider if one plans on spending any length of time in this occupation, both as a cam girl and as a patron.
In a recent article in “Thoughts On Liberty – Women Writing for a Free World”, a camgirl writes “I don’t feel shameful for what I do, but society tells me I should. Society tells me that my worth is with my body and what I do with it. Apparently people believe that getting naked means you have no self respect and therefore you deserve no respect. Yet, I promise you, I love myself. If I didn’t love my body or myself I wouldn’t be doing this.”
According to the famous Italian poet, Dante, who wrote the “Divine Comedy”, perhaps one of the most profound and loved works of literature beside Shakespeare and the Bible, we fashion our own lives ultimately through the deepest where our heart and soul abide. When what we are doing results in love, life and truth we become free. But when we choose to lose our own human identity to take on another identity which results in fear, pride and shame, especially when we design new language and stories to justify ourselves, we deceive ourselves and our true identity begins to change into what it is we believe in, and thus become.
These are deep conscience based thoughts and feelings we all have to deal with at times. The potential to get locked into our own private hand made realm appears to be quite powerful. Reinforced through this medium, I question ultimately how healthy it is psychologically and spiritually. Is it possible to lose something precious there both as model and/ or patron?
Can life in Camland becomes so pleasurable in an addictive sense that one loses the key to the door. In fact, even lose sight of where the door is in order to leave when you wish to? Is this the rabbit hole? Is this the maze the mystics of old warned us about that we are apt to get stuck in and never escape? How can something that looks and feels so good threaten our spirit in such a way? These are important question I pose not to frighten anyone but to alert of the potential dangers that others have spoken about more knowledgeable than myself down through the centuries.
Yet, there is something so alluringly real core based about this form of entertainment. How can something which is often so honest and liberating be threatening in any way? How can looking at someone in such a natural and pleasant state be wrong or emotionally dangerous? We watch movies where people spend years learning how to put on an act. Method training teaches people to become what it is they are being paid to perform so the viewer get drawn into what appears to be real. And yet so often the cam girl is a non-actor exhibiting things that are quite real and honest; things that truly appeal to other real people searching for love, affection, interaction, kindness and the thrill of meeting someone they may have often dreamed about. It is fantastic to say the least. This is a wonderful experience for most people and something to be appreciated and even honored. I certainly do and have for people I have met there. It is a blessing and yet, there is something else. And, what is that “else”?
So there seems to be a kind of dichotomy here. On one hand there are many benefits to both model and patron, and on the other there seems to be certain dangers, certain hazards. It takes wisdom to know these things. The trappings of folly are certainly well known in the world. We must find the truth and share it more now than ever, I believe.
How does something which appears so promising turn into a nightmare, or be a source of magnificent self discovery and even healing. Let us begin, for example, by saying since sex plays a major role in the cyberlife of the cam girl with hundreds, maybe thousands of men and women, how will this affect your ability to secure and maintain an intimate relationship with a real lover if that is something desired? And what kind of man is it who enjoys spending many hours week getting it on with other women in private when his own partner is far away from him and has no idea where her is?
On the other hand, how do models and patrons in this new medium learn to self actualize and use the medium in a psychologically healthy manner and grow in stature, grace and elegance to become “The Beautiful People” ?
Please send me all your comments I am eager to hear how you might respond to some of these musings and questions.